I’ve been reading Leviticus. It’s not the most exciting book
in the world, not gonna lie. I don’t know what I’m supposed to be getting out
of the book itself. But I’m learning a lot about being disciplined and faithful
to read it anyway. Disciplined and faithful to read something I don’t want to
read. Disciplined and faithful to do something I don’t want to do. And Jesus
asks me, urges me, pleads for me, to do lots of things I
don’t want to do.
In 1 Thessalonians 5:18, He tells us to be “thankful for all
circumstances.”
Okay, well I don’t wanna do that. Nothing in me wants to do
that. I look at my circumstances, and, sure, some of them are great, but some of them are hard and confusing and I hate them. More often than not, I don’t like what I see when I look at my circumstances. I certainly don’t
want to be thankful for them. No, what I want to do is sit in my anger because
that’s a hell of a lot easier than being grateful.
Fine, God. Thank you
for these unpleasant circumstances. I don’t mean it. From the bottom of my
heart, I don’t mean it... But I’m asking you to get me there, so that I can
genuinely be grateful. I’m presenting myself to you as best as I know how.
Fortunately, Romans 12:1-2 takes away the impossible
pressure of producing that godliness within myself.
“Therefore, I urge
you, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a
living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service
of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the
renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that
which is good and acceptable and perfect.”
So I present myself. There are, of course, some days when I
choose not to. But when I’m faithful and disciplined to do it even when I don’t
want to, He is faithful to show up.
He is the one who transforms
me. He is the one who gives me not
only a heart of thanks, but a heart that rejoices
in unpleasant circumstances. I just need to present myself. And give it time.
