tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-73081123287337604222024-03-08T15:13:49.973-06:00this side of the oceanAmy Stuttshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984161121252569571noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7308112328733760422.post-90691789120719471862015-08-13T00:45:00.001-05:002015-08-13T00:45:35.942-05:00two more years
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In the last two years, I’ve found a lot of reasons to
complain to God. And I’ve done so quite explicitly. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sometimes when He worked to transform me to look more like
Him. It was painful. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sometimes when He challenged me to do things I didn’t want
to do. It was unfair.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sometimes when He drove me into complete isolation so I only
had Him. It was cruel. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sometimes when He gave me only half a freaking millimeter to
work with when I was at the end of my rope. Are you kidding me?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sometimes I yelled at Him and cursed at Him and ignored Him.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But every time… He showed me grace and mercy and kindness
that I didn’t deserve. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the last two years, He’s given me new passions and new desires.
Never taking away the old ones. But giving me the capacity for more. He’s made
promises. And then fulfilled them. He’s invited me to be a part of something
much bigger than myself. He’s given me the freedom to walk away from it,
assuring me He’ll still love me. But also assuring me I’d be missing out on His
best. He’s surprised me by changing the plans, letting me choose to step into
what I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">wanted </i>to do. He’s replaced my
rebellious heart with an obedient one. He’s unveiled secrets meant solely for
me when I read His Word. He’s challenged me to love harder, think harder, work
harder. But be softer. He’s astounded me with the Gospel. He’s awarded me
financial grants I never even asked for and introduced me to people I never
would have met without those painful, unfair, cruel circumstances. He’s driven
me into isolation only to provide incredible companionship. He’s shown me He is
more mysterious, more loving, more shocking, more giving, more unpredictable,
more holy, more powerful… Just <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">more</i>. He
is someone I can’t stand to go without knowing. And someone I can’t believe I
actually get to know. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s been a good two years.</div>
<!--EndFragment-->Amy Stuttshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984161121252569571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7308112328733760422.post-37015446557714682432015-05-15T10:38:00.000-05:002015-05-15T10:58:14.417-05:00strangers <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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I just got back from a weeklong trip in Germany, and if
you’ve ever travelled internationally, you know what a pain it can be. Delayed
flights. Layovers. Jet lag. Freezing planes. Zero leg room and I'm not even tall. It’s not fun stuff.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Needless to say, I was exhausted after a busy week, plus the
journey home. But it’s often in those moments when I am emotionally, mentally,
and physically exhausted that God does cool things. And I usually wish He
wouldn’t… Such was the case as I sat at my gate in Dallas, receiving the news
that my flight had been delayed yet again. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was slightly annoyed and frustrated and reallyyyyy didn’t
want to be stuck in Dallas over night. I tried to have a good attitude about it
since it was outside of my control, but I had been up for 22 hours at this
point and just wanted my bed. I was also getting myself all worked up as I reflected on the past week. I thought about all of the cultural differences and wondered how I was going to ever fit in in Germany. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And then this middle-aged man interrupted my anxious and tired thoughts by sitting down right next to me, even
though there were plenty of empty seats that were more than six inches from me.
And he started talking immediately. And when I say he started talking
immediately, I mean he began telling me his whole life story. It always
surprises me when stuff like this happens because I kinda have resting bitch
face. Especially when I’m tired. I know I don’t look approachable. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I tried so hard to listen, but my eyelids and brain weren’t
in the mood. I mustered up as many “mmm hmm’s,” “yeah’s,” laughs, and head nods
as I could.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The more he talked, however, the easier I found it to listen
and began to wake up. We didn’t have much in common. Politically and
religiously, we saw the world very differently. Really the only thing we shared
was our interest in dating men. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After about 10 minutes, the conversation turned and he asked
about me and why I was traveling. So I told him I’d been in Germany for work,
which of course begged the question what I did. I told him I worked for Young
Life, and he asked some very good and challenging questions about it. I then admitted I was nervous about moving to another country, and he offered some
really good advice and encouragement. All in all, we had a great conversation. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We finally boarded the plane and began the flight back to
Arkansas. He caught up to me at baggage claim when we landed to say goodbye and
that it was nice meeting me. And it was genuinely nice meeting him, too. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s often in those moments when I am emotionally, mentally,
and physically exhausted that God does cool things. Like show me I can be friends with people that are different from me. I will probably never see
that man again. But for about 20 minutes, I had the privilege of hearing his
story and sharing a little of my own. For about 20 minutes, a stranger became a
friend.</div>
<!--EndFragment-->Amy Stuttshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984161121252569571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7308112328733760422.post-47766594355887874262015-04-04T14:54:00.003-05:002015-04-04T15:01:22.548-05:00what amazing grace<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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The summer after my freshman year of college, I lived in
Branson, MO to be a part of the discipleship program, Discipleship Focus. For
ten weeks, a group of 40-50 college students work full-time, live in community,
and go through the study <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Discovery </i>by
Will Wyatt. It was the most influential summer of my life, and I would highly
recommend it to any college student. To learn more about it, <a href="http://dfocus.org/" target="_blank">click here</a>. I
would also highly recommend the study to anyone. You can order it from Amazon
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_0_18/181-7720872-0953757?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=discovery+will+wyatt&sprefix=discovery+will+wya%2Caps%2C344" target="_blank">here</a>. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Second Corinthians 5:21 says, “He [the Father] made Him
[Jesus] who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, that we might become the
righteousness of God in Him.” He <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">became </i>my sin. With Easter
just around the corner, I pulled out my copy of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Discovery </i>and flipped to the section about God’s purpose flowing
out of His love. The following is a passage taken from that section<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">: <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">… Because sin is easy
and natural for us, we cannot begin to understand Jesus’ abhorrence of it. The
perfect and holy Son of God was agonizing over the thought of becoming sin and
being separated from the Father. Yet Jesus loved us so much that He was willing
to be our substitute and become sin—everything that was the opposite of His
nature. Perhaps one way to understand, to a small degree, is to take some
attributes of Jesus and consider their opposites.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We
know that Jesus is love. On the cross He experienced complete, consuming
hatred. He was despised and rejected. </i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Jesus is the ‘Light of the World,’ yet on
the cross He experienced total darkness, a lack of understanding, and
everything associated with sin and evil.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Scripture
tells us that Jesus is peace, even the ‘Prince of Peace.” On the cross, the
exact opposite of peace consumed Him: total frustration, anxiety, fear,
hopelessness, and desperation. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Jesus
Christ is Truth. On the cross, everything became confusing, inconsistent, and
illogical. Nothing made sense. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Jesus
said, ‘I am the Bread of Life.’ Yet on the cross He experienced emotional and
spiritual hunger: longing, craving, yearning, complete dissatisfaction. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Jesus
said, ‘I am the Way.’ On the cross He felt frustratingly lost, with no
direction. He was uncertain, perplexed, bewildered, full of doubts, empty, and
confused. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Christ
is our security, yet on the cross He was consumed with fear, insecurity, and
overwhelming loneliness. We have all felt lonely at times, but He was lonely to
a degree we cannot even imagine. Jesus Christ, who had experienced the
completeness of a perfect relationship within the Trinity, was now totally
forsaken and alone.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Jesus
Christ is mercy. In becoming sin for us, He suffered the ultimate in abuse,
oppression, and torture. Any cruelty ever devised or imagined by man, He
endured on the cross.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Jesus
Christ is just. On the cross He endured unfairness, corruption, dishonesty, and
all the emotions that go along with receiving unjust treatment. If the Roman
trial had been handled fairly, Christ would have been freed. He did not deserve
the cross, but He </i>wanted <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">to be there
because He chose to stand in our place. Isaiah says He was like a lamb led to
slaughter, not uttering a sound. Perhaps Jesus was silent on the cross because
had He even hinted for help, all of heaven would have responded.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>On
the cross Jesus endured incredible pain. Crucifixion was a brutal means of
execution, deliberately slow and painful. Every joint was pulled out of its
socket from the weight of the body. Jesus’ physical pain and death fulfilled
prophesy and were part of God’s plan to bring us salvation. But more important
than His physical death was that Jesus died </i>spiritually <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">when He was separated from His Father. His
physical pain on the cross is a stark visual picture that helps us understand,
to a small degree, the dreadfulness of spiritual death...<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>While
taking our place on the cross, Jesus, because of His complete separation from
His Father, cried, ‘My God, My God, why have you forsaken Me?’ This is the only
time Jesus ever called His Father ‘God,’ because at this point God was not in
the role of a Father, but of righteous judge. As judge, He placed in Jesus the
sins of every one of us—every sin and act of rebellion we have ever committed or
ever will commit. Because Jesus Christ on the cross called His Father ‘God,’ we
can now call God our ‘Father.’ What amazing grace!<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Amy Stuttshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984161121252569571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7308112328733760422.post-47411576617052847542015-02-26T01:28:00.000-06:002015-02-26T02:01:02.922-06:00new mercies <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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This past week has seen my
embarrassed/humbled/sheepish face a few times… I’ve realized that I get angry
when I don’t understand things. And I don’t understand things because I
approach them with my own human perspective instead of God’s. When my prayers aren’t
answered fast enough or in the way I want them to be… When I read something I
don’t like or understand in Numbers… When I research world news that is filled
with death, destruction, and evil… I get angry. My anger at the circumstances
then turns to being angry with God Himself. So I vent and let Him know exactly
how I’m feeling. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: -.5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: -.5in;">
And then He does something really
great… Sometimes within seconds of my venting… I get an anonymous and very
generous donation. Or someone approaches me about support instead of the other
way around. Or I receive a message from strangers saying that they pray for me
often. Whatever it is, it usually leaves me feeling embarrassed, humbled, and
sheepish. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: -.5in;">
<br /></div>
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My only appropriate response can
be one of gratitude and worship. So even when I don’t understand, I put my faith in Him.
Even when I don’t understand, I obey. Even when I don’t understand, I say
“thank you.” He is just, but He is merciful. And His mercies cover me everyday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: -.5in;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
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<i>
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<i><i><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-bidi-font-size: 16.0pt;">"The faithful love of the Lord never
ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin
afresh each morning."—Lamentations 3:22-23 <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i></i></div>
<i>
<!--EndFragment--></i><br />
<!--EndFragment-->Amy Stuttshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984161121252569571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7308112328733760422.post-33686860758187823822015-02-21T10:33:00.000-06:002015-02-21T10:33:07.865-06:00one year later
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A year ago today... It was cold and sunny. A little after
9:30am. I was walking between the Union and the law building on my way to my
Spanish class when my phone rang with the call that changed my life. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Welcome to Young Life staff in Germany. Going to class to
learn Spanish seemed a little pointless after that… </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s hard to believe that was a whole year ago. It’s been a
long, difficult, deeply humbling, lonely, and nerve-wracking year. But it’s
also been incredible and so, so good. God has challenged me, strengthened me, and
loved me in ways I didn’t know He could. And sometimes wish He wouldn’t. As
hard as this year has been, I’m so grateful for it because I’m not who I was a
year ago. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I push through the final dollars of fundraising, I have
to stop myself from mentally and emotionally checking out. Because I just want
to be there. More than anything, I want to begin the life God has called me to
in Germany. But one of the many things I’ve learned this past year is to live
in the moment. To be patient. To not wish this time away. All while still
looking and planning ahead because hopefully by the end of May, I’ll be
finished raising support. And then I’ll be gone. </div>
<!--EndFragment-->Amy Stuttshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984161121252569571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7308112328733760422.post-12314637865750923232015-01-29T16:03:00.001-06:002015-01-29T17:04:04.919-06:00to be a part of this family<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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Whenever someone asks me to tell them about myself, I always
start with my family. Because they’re pretty great. And I like to brag about
them.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So when my dad emailed my siblings and I a couple days ago
and asked us what it means to be a part of this family, I had to really narrow
down my answer. Because there’s so much that could be said.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What does it mean to be a Stutts? What does it mean to be a
part of this family? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It means a lot.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Growing up, we had so many traditions from Christmas to the
Super Bowl. We learned to celebrate as a family. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Swimming competitively, playing football, cheerleading... We
learned to support each other. We learned discipline, commitment, and how to win and lose well. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Christian values. We learned what abundant life with The
Lord looks like. We learned what a godly, healthy marriage looks like. We
learned that relationships are more important than material possessions. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But if I had to choose just one thing… Being a Stutts means
you serve. Being a part of this family means you give your life away. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The majority of my parents’ adult lives have been spent
serving in ministry. Whether it was through a church, Cru, Young Life, or
writing, my parents have opened up their hearts and home to anyone and
everyone. They've given their time, money, and lives away.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My brothers-in-law and my brother are three of the most
courageous, respectable, and admirable men I know. Their service in the Marine
Corps, Army, and Navy should bring pride and gratitude to the heart of every
American.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My sisters, both pregnant, are two of the strongest and most sacrificial women I know. Every day their husbands were deployed, ready to
literally give their lives up, was a day my sisters gave their lives away too.
And soon they’ll welcome two little babies into this world, and they’ll put
their children’s needs before their own.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So my family… They give themselves away. It's rarely easy. But they do it anyway.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There aren’t enough pages to describe just what it means to
be a part of this family. But I thank God I get to call these people my own.
Because the more I get to know this broken world, the more
I realize that people like them are rare. So if you get the privilege of knowing
my parents or siblings, don't take it for granted. Because they’re incredible.</div>
<!--EndFragment-->Amy Stuttshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984161121252569571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7308112328733760422.post-60785152950792988632015-01-20T20:26:00.002-06:002015-01-20T23:26:43.508-06:00american-minded<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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I spent the last two weeks in St. Augustine, Florida at Young Life’s New
Staff Training and Cross-Cultural Orientation, which, like everything else Young Life does, was executed with brilliance and excellence. But before you get too jealous
of Florida in January, know that I spent 95% of my time in hotel conference
rooms and was deprived of the beautiful, warm streets and weather. But I wouldn't trade that 95% for anything. I learned some
pretty incredible things and met some pretty amazing people in those conference
rooms. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">That </i>you can be jealous of. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m still processing everything I learned, and believe me
it’s a ton. But if there’s one thing that has really stood out to me, it’s this
idea of “American Christianity.” It's actually been a badgering thought in the
back of my head for a couple years now, but not until recently has it boiled so
close to the surface.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Let me preface with I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">love
</i>America. Like. A whole, whole lot. I saw American Sniper this afternoon, and my heart swelled with pride, patriotism, and emotion. I hold my
American values and beliefs near and dear to my heart, especially as my move to
Germany gets closer and closer. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But as I process everything I’ve learned over the last
couple weeks, I realize how American culture has shaped my view of Jesus. Not
in a bad way. But it’s definitely limited how I live this so-called Christian life.
I’ve been studying the Jewish culture that Abraham and Jesus lived in, the Greek culture
that Paul reached out to, present-day German culture, my own American
culture, and a few others. It’s broadened my mind, and if I’m being perfectly honest, there are
times when I don’t like or want that. It’s hard, painful, and challenging
to step outside of my American worldview. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So this I struggle with: I’m not called to be an
American-minded Christian… I’m called to be a Kingdom-minded Christian. Now, that doesn’t mean I abandon my American values. I believe God is sovereign, and He
100% intended for me to grow up in the south of the United States. But being
Kingdom-minded means I become a student of other cultures. God is so much
bigger than my little corner of the world, whether that corner is Fayetteville, Arkansas
or Munich, Germany. His mission is bigger than that. His mission is to everyone… Everywhere. Including, but certainly not limited to those corners. He’s been calling people from every
nation and culture back to Himself for thousands of years, and somehow I fit
into His mission at this point in history. And not in my home country.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s deeply humbling. </div>
<!--EndFragment-->Amy Stuttshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984161121252569571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7308112328733760422.post-55369185723621280262014-12-22T08:52:00.000-06:002014-12-22T09:44:17.187-06:00i need your help<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;">Seven months ago, I took on a task that has since pushed me and challenged me in ways that I never wanted to be pushed or challenged. But I could not be more grateful for it. I learned to initiate conversations with strangers, friends, and family about a subject that can be awkward and uncomfortable for everyone, including myself, to discuss. Yet Jesus has so much to say about it. That subject is money.</span><br />
<br style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;" />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;">Seven months ago, I began fundraising to go on Young Life College staff in Germany for a minimum of five years. It has been a gift to have these conversations and invite people to be a part of what God is doing. </span><br />
<br style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;" />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;">Seven months ago, I had 0% of my budget raised. Today, I have 70%. And my goal is to be 100% funded by the end of this year. Will you help? Please watch the following short video to learn more!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px;">To give, go to <a href="http://giving.younglife.org/">giving.younglife.org</a> and search for "Stutts" under "A Young Life Staff Member's Ministry." Then select "Amy Stutts (TDS Chair)." All donations are tax deductible. Thank you!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/9grjLiNwgqM?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;"><br /></span>Amy Stuttshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984161121252569571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7308112328733760422.post-70204258409879401362014-12-12T07:07:00.001-06:002014-12-12T18:36:54.093-06:00class of 2014 <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Don’t you just hate it when you’re right, but the person who
was wrong wins or gets their way? I don’t mind being wrong. But if I’m right,
and things still don’t go my way… Something in me screams it’s an injustice.
That it’s not fair. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t think God is too concerned about what’s fair though.
I think He’s more concerned about people knowing Him. I think He’s more
concerned about my transformation to become more like Him…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Seven months ago, I took my last final, turned in my last
paper, curled my hair, put on a pretty dress, and then covered it up with an
unflattering graduation gown. But I didn’t care because it was my graduation
day!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now fast forward… </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Two weeks ago, I discovered that I hadn’t actually graduated…
I was less than happy. Not only was I not finding out about this until seven
months later, but I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">really did</i>
graduate. I fulfilled every single requirement. The school’s records, however,
showed that my degree was never awarded because I “never submitted my Senior
Writing Requirement”. False. I submitted it once my junior year only to later
discover it was never recorded, so I re-submitted it my senior year. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Except apparently it still wasn’t there. </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My initial reaction was that I’ve earned this degree and
it’s not my fault that I don’t have it. I did everything right and now the
people who <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">are</i> at fault are either
not fixing their mistake as quickly as I think they should or they’re trying to
fix it by changing my graduation date to May 2015 instead of May 2014. Okay,
no. That’s not good enough. Because I want my diploma to say 2014. And I want
my name on the Senior Walk to be under 2014. And in my head… That’s what I
deserve. That’s what I’ve earned. That’s what I’m entitled to and I don’t think
that’s unreasonable. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But is that what this is really about? God is sovereign and
He could have made sure my paper was recorded either of the first two times it
was submitted. But He didn’t and it wasn’t. Out of the thousands of people
graduating, I was the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">only one</i> whose
degree fell through the cracks. The only one.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But is it really that big of a deal? Is angrily demanding
that my name be engraved in one sidewalk instead of another forgiving someone
who just made an honest mistake? Does the possibility of the wrong year on a
piece of paper give me the right to yell at someone, who isn’t even at fault,
but just had the misfortune of picking up the phone when I call? No. Jesus says
I’m better than that and He calls me to a higher standard. Maybe graduating
with the class of 2015 is worth it if it aids in the process of me becoming
more like Christ. My life, every aspect of my life, should point people to
Jesus. And if that means sacrificing something, even something I’ve rightfully
earned… Then who cares? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jesus laid down His rights. Then I should lay down mine.
Especially one as insignificant as this. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(**UPDATE: I’ll officially be graduating with the class of
2014!)</div>
<!--EndFragment-->Amy Stuttshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984161121252569571noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7308112328733760422.post-54883261717890820952014-11-10T10:51:00.000-06:002014-11-10T14:26:41.286-06:00from the bottom of my heart, i don't mean it<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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I’ve been reading Leviticus. It’s not the most exciting book
in the world, not gonna lie. I don’t know what I’m supposed to be getting out
of the book itself. But I’m learning a lot about being disciplined and faithful
to read it anyway. Disciplined and faithful to read something I don’t want to
read. Disciplined and faithful to do something I don’t want to do. And Jesus
asks me, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">urges </i>me, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">pleads</i> for me, to do lots of things I
don’t want to do. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In 1 Thessalonians 5:18, He tells us to be “thankful for all
circumstances.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Okay, well I don’t wanna do that. Nothing in me wants to do
that. I look at my circumstances, and, sure, some of them are great, but some of them are hard and confusing and I hate them. More often than not, I don’t like what I see when I look at my circumstances. I certainly don’t
want to be thankful for them. No, what I want to do is sit in my anger because
that’s a hell of a lot easier than being <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">grateful.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Fine, God. Thank you
for these unpleasant circumstances. I don’t mean it. From the bottom of my
heart, I don’t mean it... But I’m asking you to get me there, so that I can
genuinely be grateful. I’m presenting myself to you as best as I know how. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fortunately, Romans 12:1-2 takes away the impossible
pressure of producing that godliness within myself. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Therefore, I urge
you, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a
living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service
of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the
renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that
which is good and acceptable and perfect.”<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I present myself. There are, of course, some days when I
choose not to. But when I’m faithful and disciplined to do it even when I don’t
want to, He is faithful to show up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">He</i> is the one who transforms
me. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">He </i>is the one who gives me not
only a heart of thanks, but a heart that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">rejoices</i>
in unpleasant circumstances. I just need to present myself. And give it time. </div>
<!--EndFragment-->Amy Stuttshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984161121252569571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7308112328733760422.post-39997079071541563532014-10-22T10:59:00.000-05:002014-10-22T11:57:56.119-05:00abundance <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Exactly a year ago I began pursuing a job with Young Life
International. A year ago… That seems so crazy to me. A year ago at this time I
was about two months into my senior year, and had no idea what I was going
to do after I graduated. And today… Today, I have roughly half of my budget
raised to move to Germany for a minimum of five years on Young Life
International staff... So much has happened in the last year. So much. But more
importantly, I’ve grown so much in the last year. I’m not who I was a year ago.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Every step of this process has been incredibly transforming.
But I wanna talk about the fundraising process, which I’ve been in since June.
Fundraising itself isn’t necessarily fun. It’s hard and it’s lonely and it
really sucks a lot of the time. But the stories I could tell are amazing. They’re
frustrating and difficult and nerve-racking, yes. But they’re amazing. The
people I’ve met, the conversations I’ve had, the ways I’ve seen God show up
again and again… I can tell the kinds of stories I’ve only ever read about
before. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">In Exodus 36, God gives the Israelites very meticulous instructions
to build the ark, the tabernacle, the table, and a few other things. He gives some of them
the skills and the abilities to build and set them to work. Equally important, the rest of the people who were willing were to give their personal possessions as materials for
the builders to build with. Those who were instructed to build began to do so, knowing
that there weren’t enough materials. But they trusted that it would come, so they worked as they were told. Morning after morning, the people who were willing continued
to give and provide materials until eventually there was more than enough. The
builders had to turn people away because there was an abundance of material. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">In Matthew 14, Jesus feeds thousands of people with just
five loaves of bread and two fish. After everyone had eaten until they were
full, there were 12 baskets full of leftovers because there was more than
enough. There was an abundance of food. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">That’s the life God wants for us. Jesus said in John 10:10
that He came so that we could have life and have it abundantly. Even when the world says it doesn't look like abundance.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">So that’s been my prayer. That there would be an abundance
of people willing to give like those in Exodus 36. That there would be an
abundance of people like the boy with the bread and fish in Matthew 14.
Because, yes, the goal is to be fully funded by December 31st and move to Germany in
January. But the ultimate goal is to just know Christ more. The ultimate goal
is to be transformed to look more like Him. The ultimate goal, the point of all
of this—of fundraising, of moving, and of life itself—is to enjoy my
relationship with Him. And that’s what fundraising has been. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">All of that being said, two weeks ago was a really terribly
awful week. From a worldly perspective, at least. I sat in my car one night after
a disappointing phone call, and I felt so discouraged and so defeated. I could
have bounced back in a second if that phone call had been the only
disappointing thing that had happened that week. But it seemed like I was
getting bad news after bad news in several areas of my life. From a worldly
perspective, everything about my circumstances looked impossible. They looked
like reasons to quit and go into a stressful panic. It would have been easy to
get angry with God at that point. And a year ago I would have. But I prayed and
I presented it as best as I could. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Okay, Lord… I am
saying this as humbly and respectfully as possible. But You have called me to
this. So you have to come through. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I was a bit wordier, but that’s pretty much the gist of it.
I sat in my car awhile longer, just praying. Less than 10 minutes later, I got
an email from someone committing to give monthly, as well as giving me a few
referrals to contact. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">That’s life in abundance. That’s trusting The Lord when I
have nothing. And then watching Him respond with everything. Sometimes it
happens within 10 minutes. Sometimes it takes longer and comes in less obvious
ways. But God is always faithful to show up. To transform me. And to let me
know Him more. </span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Amy Stuttshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984161121252569571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7308112328733760422.post-42782127728626366092014-08-18T11:46:00.000-05:002014-08-19T15:37:35.231-05:00something good<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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When I was little, maybe like five or six, I remember
grabbing my Bible, going into my parents’ bedroom, and asking my mom or my dad, whoever I could find, if we
could have a Bible study. I remember being so excited to learn more about
Jesus. I was crazy about Him. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I lost that crazy-for-Him fire for a few of my teenage
years, but starting my sophomore year of college, I learned what it really
meant to pursue and live in a daily relationship with Him. No matter what.
Since then, I’ve been constantly growing, maturing, and learning new things. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There have only been three times in my 22 years, however,
that The Lord has spoken to me as clearly as if He had actually spoken out loud.
If you know me, then you know “words are hard” and they certainly fail me here.
But the innermost core of my spirit just recognizes His voice in those
beautiful moments. And just a few days ago, His voice rang loud and clear in my
spirit. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Do you believe I have
something good for you? <o:p></o:p></i><br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><br /></i>
It's like that story in John 5 when Jesus asks the paralyzed man if he wants to get well. The answer seems obvious.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well, yes, duh, of course, I do, Lord.<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But then He asked me again.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Do you believe I have
something good for you?<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well if He’s asking me again I figured my first answer was
probably wrong. So I thought about it and prayed about it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">know</i> you do,
Lord. I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">know</i> you have good things for
me. But I don't know. At this moment in time, no... I don't think I believe that. I feel anxious
and fearful and a little angry, and it doesn’t feel like you have
good things at all. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One thing that my dad has hammered into my head is that our
feelings and emotions stem from our thoughts. If I’m thinking negative thoughts
then my emotions are going to follow suit. But if I can just stop... If I can go
back to the source... Recognize that anxiety and fear are not of the Holy Spirit, reject whatever lies I’m believing that are causing me to feel that way, even if they
feel true, and replace them with Truth, then eventually my feelings and
emotions will catch up. But I have to choose to believe it. I have to take
active steps to believe Truth even when my circumstances and emotions say otherwise. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So then, yes. I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">do </i>believe You have something good for me. Because You say You do in Romans 8:28, Jeremiah
29:11, Isaiah 58:11, Jeremiah 1:5, Isaiah 43:18-19… All over scripture You
promise good things for me. And <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">that is</i>
Truth. Even when it doesn’t feel true.</div>
<!--EndFragment-->Amy Stuttshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984161121252569571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7308112328733760422.post-26289166273559001022014-08-07T19:01:00.001-05:002014-08-07T19:13:56.513-05:00you can choose both<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">First of all… This post took me a whole week to write. Which
is very uncharacteristic of me. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I spent
many late nights/early mornings in college (which, yes, I can now say, “When I
was in college…” because I’m OLD and GRADUATED…) writing one draft, unedited
papers because I waited until the night before they were due to start them. But
this is way more important than any college paper. I’ve found that writing and blogging
help me process whatever Jesus and I are wrestling with at the moment. Writing,
as if to explain to other people, what I’m learning gives me an opportunity to
organize my thoughts. It gives me clarity and forces me to really understand
what The Lord is teaching me. So, confession, this blog is kind of selfish. I
think I’ve had such a hard time with this particular post because I’ve been
struggling with this particular thing for almost exactly 13 months. (It will be
13 months tomorrow.) It wasn’t until a few weeks ago, however, that I was able
to articulate it. Attempting to put into eloquent words what I’m just now
beginning to deal with has proven to be quite a challenge, so bear with me. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">If you had asked me 14 months ago what I’d be doing after I
graduated, I would have said I’d be working in some entry-level position at
some Fortune 500 Company, preferably not in Arkansas. (Although I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">do </i>love Arkansas. Don’t get me wrong.) I
would have said I’d be living in some new and exciting city. I’d be
independent. I’d be paying my own bills (probably just barely). I’d be making
new friends. Then, after a year or two, I’d meet an attractive, Jesus-loving guy,
and a few more years after that I’d start popping out a few kids. You know,
typical American Dream stuff. Because, like any other American, I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">love </i>America. Why wouldn’t I pursue that
dream?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Not only do I love this country, but I’m <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">passionate </i>about this country. I’ve
always thought it was awesome when God called people overseas to Africa or
somewhere to do mission work. Really, I did. I thought it was incredible
because I felt like I didn’t have it in me. Maybe part of it’s the diva in me.
But I also simply just felt called to America.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt called to what I believe is an overlooked and hurting
nation of people. And I wanted to be in the middle of it. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I also love and am passionate about this country because
many of my family have or are currently serving in the Armed Forces. They
train, fight, and are willing to die for this country. Every Memorial Day,
Veteran’s Day, 4<sup>th</sup> of July, I feel extra proud and patriotic.
Because, political disagreements aside, I love this country. And I
love the people in this country. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">If you know me or have read previous posts, you know that
I’m currently fundraising to go on staff in Germany with Young Life International,
a non-profit ministry... So. I’m doing the exact opposite of what I thought I’d
be doing. And, again, if you know me or have read previous posts, then you know
it took me some time to be okay with that. Now, I’m so unbelievably excited for
this adventure God is about to take me on. But it hasn’t been an easy process. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Now, back to the point of this post, the thing I’ve been
struggling with all year and didn’t know how to articulate until now. It can be
summed up in one word: Guilt. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I have felt guilty for leaving this country. I have felt guilty
for abandoning my own American Dream and what I truly believed to be a calling.
I was passionate about loving hurting and broken people in my own backyard. A
backyard that is overlooked by the world. A backyard that many of my family are willing to die for. And I’m over here like,
“Thanks for your sacrifice and service. But no thanks. I’m moving to Germany.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">knew</i> that wasn’t
Truth. I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">knew</i> that’s not what I was
actually doing or saying. But Satan’s pretty good at making you believe lies
and making you feel guilty for them.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">But Jesus never motivates by guilt. Guilt is not of the
Spirit. Shoulda been my first clue. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">So then I thought maybe I was confusing my own desires with
God-given desires. Maybe I was confusing patriotism for a calling. But the more
I prayed about it, the stronger my passion for the U.S. and “American
Christianity” became. But so did my desire to be in Germany. It was very
confusing. But it was also very peaceful. I wasn’t getting any solid answers.
Just The Lord sharing His unbelievable and overwhelming peace with me. It was
that peace that gave me the confidence to keep moving forward in the hiring and
fundraising processes. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Not until a few weeks ago did I feel The Lord finally begin
to give me some answers. Which was great because I’d been in the dark for over
a year, and I was gettin’ real sick of it. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">You can choose both. </i>It’s
like The Lord suddenly unveiled my eyes to this great realization. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">You can choose both.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">He didn’t tell me I’d be moving back to the U.S. after my
five-year commitment in Germany is up. He didn’t tell me I’d be staying in
Germany for the rest of my life. He didn’t give me any of those details.
Whether I stay in Germany forever or I eventually move back to the U.S. isn’t the
point though.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">The point is that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I
can choose both. </i>Somehow, I don’t know how, they’re connected. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">It's not that He's only calling me to one of them. I’m not choosing one over the other. I'm not even choosing one and <i>then </i>the other. I can choose both. At the same time. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I really don’t know how to
describe it. Believe me, I’ve tried. So let’s just talk in clichés, so I don’t
have to come up with the words myself. It’s like a huge weight was lifted off
my shoulders. I know this doesn’t really make a ton of sense. When I think
about it from my own human perspective I’m like, “God, that’s literally
impossible.” But have I so little faith to really believe it’s impossible for
God? I’ve been walking with Jesus long enough to hear Him say that and it be
enough for me. I have absolutely no idea what it will look like. No idea. But
that’s part of the joy of living in Christ’s freedom. I don’t have to know right
now what it will look like. I don’t have to know right now where I’ll be living or what I'll be doing five, ten, twenty years from now. I just know that I can choose both. So I do.
Whatever that means, Jesus. I choose both.</span><!--EndFragment-->Amy Stuttshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984161121252569571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7308112328733760422.post-24691245592949150842014-07-20T16:27:00.002-05:002014-07-20T16:50:21.949-05:00i prayed i'd lose my passport<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Two years ago I traveled to Macedonia with Northwest
Arkansas Young Life on a Young Life College trip. It was an incredible week. We
learned about Young Life in Eastern Europe and did our small part to help
develop it there. I loved every exhausting minute of it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We also got to spend some time in London. That’s when I lost
my passport… We were just minutes away from boarding the plane to fly back to
Chicago when I realized it was missing. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You know that sense of panic when your teacher asks you to
turn in homework and you completely forgot to do it? Or when you can’t find
your keys and you were supposed to be somewhere important 10 minutes ago? Your
eyes get really wide, you don’t realize you’re holding your breath, every other
word that comes out of your mouth is a cuss word, and everyone around you is
thinking how glad they are that that isn’t them? This was me for about three minutes. Except it felt like three hours.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I finally gave up looking through my carry-on and concluded
that my passport was somewhere in this giant airport. Or it was in our hotel.
Or it was in front of Buckingham Palace. Wherever it was, it was not with me
and instead it was somewhere, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">anywhere</i>,
in London.<i> </i>I prayed desperately that God would let me find it in the next 20 minutes. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Literally</i> seconds after I prayed this, a woman I had never
seen before tapped me on the shoulder. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Amy.” It wasn’t a question. “I recognize you from your
picture. I found your passport and just turned it in to security.” And then she
was gone. I didn’t even see her leave. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Within minutes, I was waiting at our gate as two airport
security officers delivered my ticket home. I’ve never experienced a bigger
wave of relief. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The best/worst part? I had prayed about an hour before all
of this that I would get to see and experience God on this long, mundane travel day. Losing my passport
wasn’t exactly what I had had in mind when I prayed that... </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I wish I could say
that I was super spiritual and that I experienced God’s peace the whole time.
But that’s not the case. I was freaking out and panicking the whole time. It's in moments like those that God <i>wants </i>to share His peace with me. I just needed to ask for it. But I was too busy focusing on my circumstances instead of Him to remember that. Even so, God allowed me to experience Him as He practically hand-delivered that stupid little booklet to me. I’m
so glad I lost it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Someone brought up that story just a few days ago. And I had
no idea what they were talking about until they reminded me of what happened. I
have this incredible story of how God miraculously provided for me. And I just
forgot about it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The more time I spend in the Old Testament the more I notice a particular pattern. So
many times God introduces Himself as the “God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob” or
“The Lord your God who brought you out of Egypt.” He reminds Israel of who He
is and what He has done for them in the past. He’s reminding them of how He has
come through for them before, so that they will remember they can trust Him
now. He knows that His people are prone to forget Him. And forgetting is a dangerous thing. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Amy Stuttshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984161121252569571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7308112328733760422.post-2359031427287198812014-06-27T16:43:00.000-05:002014-06-28T15:11:36.528-05:00being all adult-like <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t know how many times I’ve made the trip to Little Rock before. Probably a hundred. But this last one over the past two weeks was different. A friend of mine, who is actually more like a sister, asked me to house sit and take care of her pets and business while she and her husband were out of town for a week. The second week there I used to fundraise for Young Life International. So, no, this trip wasn’t the fun, spontaneous, foolish,
irresponsible trip I would have taken a couple years ago. This was my first post-grad, adult, professional business trip.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And post-grad, adult, professional business trips aren’t as fun as my
spontaneous, foolish, irresponsible trips. I realized living my sister's life
for a week is hard work, especially when I'm sick. And I also realized
that setting up fundraising appointments and asking for support is
harder and more intimidating than I initially gave it credit for. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was really discouraged one night and started to feel like I
was in way over my head. What 21-year-old girl raises $340,000 ($5,000 in monthly support for five years plus $40,000 in start-up costs) and moves to
another continent by herself? A crazy 21-year-old girl, that’s who. But like
all thoughts and emotions at 1:00am, I knew I couldn’t trust or entertain this
lie. With as much self-discipline as I could muster, I tried to control my
thoughts, present them to The Lord, take some Nyquil, and just go
to bed. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
By the end of my two weeks, I was not only exhausted, but I
felt like a little five-year-old girl playing dress up, trying to be a
grown-up. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Real adult world: 1</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Amy: 0</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I wish I could say everything is fine and dandy now, that the
trip ended up going amazingly well, and I raised half my budget. But that’s not
the case. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now that I’m back home in Fayetteville, I’ve been able to
gain some perspective though. I kept my sister’s home and business afloat and I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">did </i>meet with some donors, most of whom
were excited to support me. The ones I didn’t get a chance to meet with, I’ve already
made arrangements to meet with next time I’m in town. So the trip really wasn’t
all terrible. In fact, it was a success, especially considering it was my first
time doing everything I had just done.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These two weeks also served as some good reminders. First,
this is supposed to be intentionally hard. God is using these next seven months
of fundraising to purge me of my fears and insecurities, as my fundraising coach reminded me this morning. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Second, I’ve always struggled
with accepting my need to desperately dependent on Him. But that’s what this
is. An opportunity to do just that. To depend on Him and trust Him. To recognize that I can't do it alone. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Third, I have a God who fiercely loves me and is constantly
fighting for me. I also have an Enemy who fiercely hates me and is constantly
fighting to destroy me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fourth, God has called me to Young Life International staff
in Germany. He has brought me this far and He’s not gonna leave me hangin’ now.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And lastly, this is an opportunity to pray big things and watch what God does.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here is some scripture that really struck a nerve the last couple weeks. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Israelites went up
out of Egypt ready for battle.—Exodus 13:18<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The LORD will fight
for you; you need only be still.—Exodus 14:14<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Then the LORD said to
Moses, “Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on.”—Exodus
14:15<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">He was amazed at their
lack of faith.—Mark 6:6<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
God expected His people to move forward with boldness. He
expected them to trust Him. And He expected them to expect that it was going to be hard. He had made it very clear by
this point that He was for them even when it didn't look like it. That He was fighting for them. That He would
deliver them not only out of something bad, but into something good. And
through all of this, He would be glorified. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And yet they still doubted. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I wonder if God sometimes says to me, “Why are you crying
out to me? Get a move on.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s not that He isn’t patient or loving or understanding.
It’s not that He doesn’t want me to share my worries and fears and insecurities with Him. It’s
not that He doesn’t care that I’m crying out to Him. But I wonder if sometimes
He’s amazed at my lack of faith. I wonder if sometimes He just says, “Why are
you crying out to Me? Haven’t I already proved that I am for you? That I am
fighting for you? That I am working on your behalf? Get a move on. Do what I’ve
called you to do and do it with confidence and boldness, even when it looks like the world is against you. Because I am for you. And I will be with
you.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s not easy. But it <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">is
</i>simple.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Amy Stuttshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984161121252569571noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7308112328733760422.post-27635101054332553882014-06-07T00:48:00.000-05:002014-06-07T09:28:39.912-05:00delighting in what's standing in your way <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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A couple months ago, I got my budget for Young Life International,
and I learned just how much money I need to fundraise before I move to Germany.
If my eyes had gotten any wider when I saw that big, intimidating number, I
think they might have literally popped out of my head. Because let’s just call
it like it is. It’s a shit ton of money.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After my initial momentary freak out, I gained some
perspective as I dove into the next step in the process: Fundraising training.
Which would take a full month. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I really, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">really </i>hate
going slow in anything I do. I’m all about fast friendships and breaking speed
limits because who has time for society’s rules and laws? And also it's just boring otherwise. Same goes for
fundraising. Intimidated or not, I wanted to jump right in so that I could
hurry up and move. I was viewing fundraising as something that was necessary,
obviously. But also as something that was standing in my way of moving. And the
sooner I fundraised, the sooner I could move.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t think that that’s necessarily bad. But I was missing
a very important point, and that’s that fundraising is in and of itself a
ministry. It is biblical. It is not something that is holding me back or
standing in my way. It’s a part of the process. A very important part. I was also forgetting to live in the moment and enjoy what God has for me right now. I love change, so I'm always looking forward to the next thing. Again, I don't think that's necessarily bad. Until I wish time away to get to that thing. It's a discipline I have to practice every day, especially right now. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Training took up just a few hours of my time each week. I
would pace back and forth, back and forth from the front door to the back door
of my apartment on conference calls once or twice a week. Each call with my
fundraising coach or regional director was grounded in scripture and taught me
practical steps and biblical truths when it came to fundraising, money, and
finances. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I could talk about any one of those passages of scripture
right now. But I wanna talk about one that isn’t really talking about money at
all. It’s just what I read this morning.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Then the LORD said to
Moses, “Now you will see what I will do to Pharaoh: <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Because of my mighty hand</b> he will let them go; <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">because of my mighty hand</b> he will drive them out of his country. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">God also said to
Moses, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">“I am the LORD</b>. I appeared to
Abraham to Isaac and to Jacob as <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">God
Almighty</b>, but <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">by my name</b> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">the LORD</b> I did not make myself fully
known to them. I also established my covenant with them to give them the land
of Canaan, where they resided as foreigners. Moreover, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">I have heard the groaning</b> of the Israelites, whom the Egyptians are
enslaving, and <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">I have remembered</b> my
covenant. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Therefore, say to the
Israelites, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">‘I am the LORD,</b> and <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">I will bring you out</b> from under the
yoke of the Egyptians<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">. I will free you</b>
from being slaves to them, and <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">I will
redeem you</b> with an <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">outstretched arm</b>
and with <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">mighty acts</b> of judgment<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">. I will take you</b> as my own people, and
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">I will be your God</b>. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Then you will know that I am the LORD your
God, who brought you out</b> from under the yoke of the Egyptians. And <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">I will bring you to the land I swore with
uplifted hand</b> to give to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">I will give it to you</b> as a possession. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">I am the LORD</b>.”—Exodus 6:1-8 <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
God makes it clear to Moses and to the rest of the
Israelites that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">He </i>is the one who
frees them. It is by <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">His</i> power and
mighty hand that they are set free. Not Moses’. Not Pharaoh’s. But God's. The One who notices their suffering and hears their cries. The One looks upon
them with concern and wants<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>to set
them free. The One who wants to bring them out of suffering and into something good: the land which He promised. Because He
is the LORD their God who redeems. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So then I never understood why in Exodus 4:21 God “hardens
Pharaoh’s heart so that he will not let the people go.” Well if He hadn’t hardened his heart in the first place then all
the plagues wouldn’t have been necessary and the Israelites would have been
freed a hell of a lot sooner. Never made any sense to me.<br />
<br />
Why are we going so slow? Why does it have to take this long? Those would have been my questions. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And then this morning I took a closer look at those first
eight verses in chapter six. How many times does God talk about how <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">He </i>is the one who frees, rescues, and
redeems by <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">His </i>mighty hand? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">… He rescued me
because He delighted in me.—Psalm 18:19<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
God delighted in rescuing them. It brought Him joy to do so.
And He made sure to make Himself known in the process, so that He would be
glorified. And maybe that’s why He hardened Pharaoh’s heart. So that they would
see what great and powerful measures God was willing to take in order to free
them. So that they would know their value and worth. So that they would know
not just how big and powerful He is, but how much He loves them and that He
would go to such great lengths for them. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This was fresh in my mind this morning after my last
fundraising training call. And I realized how this can be applied to where I’m
currently at in my own life: fundraising. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not that fundraising is the same as slavery in Egypt and not
that He is rescuing me from a bad life. In fact, I’m having to leave a very
good life behind. One that I will miss greatly. But it’s an interesting
comparison to make. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s in the fundraising process that I will get to see God’s
mighty hand at work. Just like He called Moses to work hard in this challenging
task, He calls me to work hard. But He is the one who will ultimately raise the
money and He is one who will be glorified and known through it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That may mean it comes easily and in big, miraculous ways.
Or it’s very difficult and slow and comes in small, miraculous ways. Or a
combination of the two. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But either way, God will make Himself known through it. And
in the process of that, He delights in taking me on the adventures of a
lifetime. In fundraising. And in Germany. </div>
<!--EndFragment-->Amy Stuttshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984161121252569571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7308112328733760422.post-72111742128999360592014-06-07T00:15:00.000-05:002014-06-07T00:54:29.292-05:00134 days, part II<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Until recently, I had been going through a bit of a dry
spell. I’d been hanging out with Jesus and spending daily time in His Word. And
it was great. It really was. But if you were to ask me what I’d been learning I
wouldn’t really have had an answer for you. I wasn’t learning anything super
profound or new. So of course I had to give the generic answer that people give
when they haven’t been spending time with Him at all:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I just really feel like God is teaching me to trust Him
right now.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What? What the hell does that even mean? Could you be any
more vague? That’s not a real answer. He’s teaching everyone that all the time.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I hate that answer. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Especially because I felt like I was on the verge of
learning some really cool things. I was about to move to freaking Germany on
Young Life staff, after all. I felt like I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">should
</i>be learning really cool, profound things. Every time I sat down and opened
up my Bible, there was a deep, mysterious <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">something
</i>in the words I was reading. And I knew I was so close to learning whatever
it was that God was trying to teach me. And I just had to trust that I would
know whatever it was soon enough… </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was a humbling period to say the least. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The following paragraphs will probably be/most definitely will be a
jumbled mess. Because my thoughts are a jumbled mess. As soon as I start to
think I’m beginning to understand it… I don’t anymore. Maybe writing it down
and trying to explain it to other people will help me make sense of it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In Genesis 12, God tells Abraham to “go from your country,
your people, and your father’s household to the land I will show you.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Okay, cool. For me, that means Germany. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s so simple. Not easy. But it’s simple. I didn’t realize
the depth of this until God really began to unpack it for me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Israel’s promise after deliverance out of Egypt was for the
land that God had promised to Abraham. The land was sanctified. It was holy. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In Exodus 3:5, God tells Abraham to take off his sandals
because he is standing on holy ground. The ground by nature was not holy. But
God made it holy because of His divine presence. Because it was set apart for
The Lord’s service. Just as the Promised Land was for the Israelites. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I find it interesting that so many times God introduces
Himself as the “God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.” He introduces Himself this
way to people who never even knew them. But are descended from them. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If God thought it was important to keep bringing up Abraham,
Isaac, and Jacob, even after their deaths, then that must be important. Family
line must be important. After all, Jesus came from this line. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not gonna lie though. Reading all the genealogies is kinda
boring. Especially when I can’t even pronounce most of the names. However, I
have learned a few things through reading these genealogies. One is that family
really is a big deal to God. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My</i>
family is a big deal to God. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Your </i>family
is a big deal to God.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t know much about my own genealogy. Just that I’m a
mutt from about eight different places. America’s melting pot at its finest. I
always knew that I was part German on my dad’s side, so, after I learned that I
would be moving to Germany, I started to do a little research. My dad also sent
me some information that he had found about our family that once lived there
before moving to the United States. I don’t know anything about them. What they
were passionate about. Who they loved. Who loved them. Their work. Their
hobbies. Their broken hearts. Their fears. Their desires. I just know their
names.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t know if they knew Jesus and had a relationship with
Him. But I do know that I get to go back to where they once lived. And I get to
build a life there. I have absolutely no idea what that life will look like.
But I get to go to the land I come from. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But it doesn’t stop there. Because this is so much bigger
than my move to Germany and it’s so much bigger than my own family. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As Christians, our “sanctified promised land” is found in
the presence and purposes of Jesus. The old covenant is still important because
Jesus came to fulfill it. But we get to live in the new covenant. Now, here’s
where my mind is blown. And I pray that this never ceases to blow my mind for
the rest of time. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and
co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may
also share in his glory.” Romans 8:17</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because of Jesus, we too inherit all the riches of the
kingdom of God. All promises. All righteousness. We are grafted into Israel. We
are grafted into God Himself.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Because of Jesus.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">We are grafted into
God Himself. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">We are co-heirs with
Christ. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, yes, family is a big deal to God. Because He adopted us
into His own. </div>
<!--EndFragment-->Amy Stuttshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984161121252569571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7308112328733760422.post-27183454658735768322014-05-27T00:49:00.000-05:002014-05-27T01:23:05.060-05:00134 days, part I<br />
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<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I’ve been wanting to read the whole Bible, from beginning to
end, for a few years now. But to be honest it was kind of an intimidating
commitment, so I just stuck to things like six-week studies instead. But over this
past Christmas break I decided I was finally going to read from Genesis to
Revelation. I looked into different reading plans, most of which were to be
completed within a year. I thought about doing one of those, but that plan
quickly died… </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I started reading Genesis on January 7<sup>th</sup>. And
just finished it two days ago on May 24<sup>th</sup>. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If it took me almost five months to read
one book, just 50 chapters, then reading the whole Bible in a year seems a
little too ambitious. I don’t know how long it will take me. Probably a few
years. Certainly not just one. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Five months is a long time. Through wrapping up college with
my last semester, pursuing Young Life International staff, deciding to move to
Germany, starting the fundraising process for staff, continuing to invest in my
relationships with friends and family, and reading through Genesis, I’ve
learned a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">lot</i> over these last five
months. I’ll talk about just one take-away right now. More to come in later
posts.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">But first… Here’s the thing about the Old Testament… I find
it very frustrating and confusing. Most of the time I just really don’t get it.
But it is also incredibly rich and fascinating. Perhaps that’s why I’ve spent
so much time in just one of its books. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I would read one little verse, get stuck, and remain there
for a week, sometimes two. I knew I was on the verge of “getting” whatever it
was God was trying to teach me. It was frustrating at times knowing that this
particular verse stood out to me... But why? Sometimes I didn’t get the answer
for a few weeks. Or I’m still waiting for the answer. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Other times I would read three chapters in one day and feel
like I got nothing out of it. Equally frustrating. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">And still other times I would get just plain mad. I read just
the first verse of Genesis 12 when I was still a
little apprehensive about Young Life International staff and where I would end
up. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">The LORD had said to Abram,
“Go from your country, your people, and your father’s household to the land I
will show you.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Not funny, God. Not funny. But more on that in my next post.
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Okay, so here’s my first take-away from the last five
months: Everyone in Genesis has to wait forever for everything. At least that’s what
it seems like anyway. And learning how to wait is important. Not just idly
waiting. But actively waiting. Patiently waiting. Much of life will be spent
waiting. For a job, a raise, a promotion, a baby, a spouse, Spring Break, the
weekend, happy hour, and whatever else. There’s always going to be <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">something </i>that’s next that we’re holding
out for. And learning to wait well is important because it’s in those waiting periods
that God does a lot of good work in us. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">But waiting is hard for me. More and more I find myself
loving change, so I’m always looking forward to the next thing. The next
adventure. The next stage of life. And right now the next thing is Germany and
all that that entails. But Germany is seven months away. Of course seven months
is nothing compared to the 25 years that Abraham and Sarah had to wait for the
baby that God had promised them. But seven months feels like freaking forever
to me. But I’m learning that God does a lot of good things during the waiting
periods, and He wants me to walk in that. To think ahead to the future with
wisdom and shrewdness, yes. But to live in the present and stop wishing time away.
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Because the reality is that Germany is not my present.
Fundraising is. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I know that fundraising is an extremely important and biblical
step in going on staff with Young Life International. I’ve spent the last few
weeks grounded in scripture and preparing for it with my fundraising coach because
it’s a big, intimidating number I have to raise before I can move. I’m getting
more and more excited about fundraising as God changes my perspective on it.
But if I’m not disciplined in my thoughts every day, it’s easy to look at it as
an impossible goal or something that is standing in my way and holding me back
from the ultimate goal: Actually moving. But that’s incorrect thinking.
Fundraising over these next seven months is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">part
</i>of the ultimate goal. Not something holding me back. And it’s important
that I walk in that with confidence. It’s important that I live in that and
experience all that God has for me during this “waiting” period. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">It took me 134 days to read Genesis. Through studying
scripture and dealing with daily relationships and circumstances, God has
taught me a lot in the past 134 days. Even when I don’t understand what I’m
reading or what He’s doing or what I’m doing… I can trust Him because He is
good, He is sovereign, and He loves me. I have to constantly remind myself of
those three truths. He has changed and transformed my heart in more ways than
one over the last 134 days. And while I will try to take them one day at a time
and live in the present, I look forward to all that He has for me over the next
134 days.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment--></div>
Amy Stuttshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984161121252569571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7308112328733760422.post-33764854518158876572014-05-26T23:38:00.003-05:002014-05-26T23:38:27.041-05:00my dog died 365 days ago
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
My oldest sister begged and begged our parents for a dog
when my siblings and I were little. They finally caved when I was seven. And,
y’all, I was the happiest seven-year-old in the world when we brought Ivy home.
She was the most timid, shy, sweet, little beagle. And I fell madly in love
with her.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ivy was a family dog, sure. But she was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">my </i>dog. And I was her human. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One of my parents’ rules about Ivy was that she had to sleep
downstairs in her kennel at night. But Ivy didn’t like that. She howled and she
whined and she cried herself to sleep in that stupid kennel. After one night of
this, I decided I didn’t like this stupid rule either. After my parents went to
bed, I would sneak downstairs, take Ivy out of her kennel, and bring her
upstairs to sleep with me. I would then wake up early to take her back
downstairs before my parents woke up. It didn’t take long before we kicked the
kennel to the curb and my parents accepted that Ivy was gonna sleep with me
every night. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fast forward eight years.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I was 15 and Ivy was 8, my parents replaced the carpet
in our house. We were moving to Fayetteville in a year and they were trying to
get the house ready to sell. Another stupid rule I didn’t like: Ivy was not
allowed on the new carpet. My parents bought baby gates and a dog bed, and Ivy
was to be confined to the kitchen where there was tile. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Okay… Ivy’s been sleeping in my bed for eight years. This
wasn’t gonna go over well.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fine. You’re gonna make my dog sleep on the cold tile.
You’re gonna make your daughter sleep on the cold tile too then. And I moved my
bedroom into the kitchen. Partly because I was mad at my parents and wanted to
spite them. But mostly because I loved Ivy. (My parents and I have great
relationships now. No worries.)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fast forward a couple more years to Ivy happily allowed to
roam the whole house, not just the kitchen, in Fayetteville. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She liked to sit on top of the couch and look out the
window. She knew which cars belonged to her humans and which belonged to
strangers, and when one of her humans cars pulled into the driveway, she would
get <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">so excited. </i>She would jump off
the couch and tap dance to the door to greet her humans. Her nails would <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">click, click, click</i> on the wooden floor,
her tail would wag, and she would whimper for days as she licked and jumped.<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This was only a problem when I was sneaking back into the
house at 4am after a night out with a boy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p> </o:p>Most people who entered our home didn’t understand Ivy. They
didn’t understand her timid, shy “lack of personality.” But Ivy had a big
personality and only those whom she loved got see it. Ivy loved her people. And
she loved them well.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She loved me well even when I didn’t want her to. Like when
I was trying to be quiet at 4am. She loved me when I was happy. When I was sad.
When my heart was broken. She just loved to love. And be loved.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fast forward a few more years to the end of my junior year
of college. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ivy died around 2:00pm on May 10<sup>th</sup>, 2013, just 10
days before her 14<sup>th</sup> birthday. The vet gave us our options and my
parents said it was up to me. But all of the options sucked because they all
left me without my dog. It was just a matter of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">when</i> I would be left without her. How long would I selfishly,
desperately hope the treatment would work, knowing that it wouldn’t, prolonging
her pain and discomfort? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The one-year anniversary of Ivy’s death was this past Saturday.
This past Saturday was also the day that I graduated from college. As happy as
I was walking across that stage in heels that were slowly killing my feet, I
couldn’t help but think that a year ago at this time I was telling the vet
without a second thought to “just put her down.” It was the right decision. But
I hated making it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t like when other people talk about Ivy. Even when
it’s good things. Only when I bring her up is it okay to talk about her. I know
that’s not fair or okay. But that’s how I’ve felt this past year, and
especially these past three days as I’ve happily celebrated my graduation,
while also mourning her death. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Josh Billings said, “A dog is the only thing on Earth that
loves you more than he loves himself.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Dogs give unconditional love so you will be teensy bit
prepared for God’s love when you die and meet Him. Otherwise, God’s love would
knock you flat.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Those are the wise words from Trixie Koontz, dog, author of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Bliss to You </i>by Dean Koontz. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve spent the past three days thinking a lot about God’s
love. Ivy was the sweetest gift God could have given seven-year-old me to show
me, even just a tiny, tiny, tiny bit, how much He loves me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve never been in love. Not really. And I don’t have a child. So I know
I haven’t experienced the capacity of how much a human can love. But I do know that
I loved Ivy. And if I loved a dog that much… It’s overwhelming to think of how
much more I can love. And it’s even more overwhelming to think of how much God
loves me. I don’t even know how to fathom that kind of love. A fierce, unconditional,
sacrificial, overwhelming, passionate love that can’t even compare to the love
I had for my dog. Those adjectives don’t even do it justice. I can’t imagine
that kind of love. And yet it exists. And God loves me with that kind of love
because He <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">is </i>that kind of love. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mind blown. </div>
<!--EndFragment-->Amy Stuttshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984161121252569571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7308112328733760422.post-53600508308053163102014-05-26T23:37:00.002-05:002014-05-26T23:37:13.234-05:00to germany we go
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 24.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #2a2a2a;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I’ve always wanted
to be a blogger. But I never knew what I would write about. And I still don’t
really. But God places events and people in our lives with divine purpose.
Somehow those events and people you’re around every day, or even strangers for
just one day, make epic stories. And they’re stories worth telling. So here it
goes.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 24.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #2a2a2a;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">My freshman year of
college seemed like an endless possibility of opportunities. Especially summer
opportunities. I knew I would never get summers like this again, and I wanted
to use them wisely. I was determined never to take a summer class or stay in
Fayetteville. I mentally made a tentative plan of what I intended to do all
three summers, and summer after my junior year I wanted to do Summer Staff at
Lost Canyon, Session 2. I love spontaneity and impulsiveness, so I don’t know
why I was being so specific about plans that were two years away. Especially
when I wasn’t even walking with The Lord. I was angry with Him for allowing
certain things to happen, but I knew that one day I would start pursuing Him
again. And I guess I figured that that would be junior year.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 24.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #2a2a2a;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">And I was right. I
did not start pursuing a genuine relationship with The Lord until I was 20
years old. Junior year was hard. But it was good. I learned to deal with things
and mistakes of my past. I learned what it meant to depend on The Lord and
pursue Him even when I didn’t feel like it. And I grew so much. By the end of
that year, I felt absolute peace about going forward with the plans I had made
two years earlier. So I got on a plane and headed to the middle of nowhere
Arizona where Lost Canyon was located. Maybe it’s because it was a plan two
years in the making and I had super high expectations that weren’t met… I don’t
know. But it sucked. Those three weeks sucked. And I was so disappointed.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 24.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #2a2a2a;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I remember sitting
on the floor of the summer staff lounge waiting for our last meeting to begin.
I was reflecting over the last three weeks and wondering where I had gone
wrong.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 24.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #2a2a2a;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Finally, our meeting
began, and our summer staff coordinators introduced the topic of the meeting:
Full-time Young Life staff. That’s all I needed to hear. I immediately began to
shut down and check out because full-time ministry was not for me. I saw my
parents doing it and it was hard and it was not for me as far as I was
concerned. So I let my mind wander to anything and everything else as long as
it meant I didn’t have to listen to whatever was going on in that meeting.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 24.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #2a2a2a;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">It only took a few
minutes for The Lord to get my attention. I had a poor attitude. I freaking
knew that. So I presented it as best as I could, and I silently prayed a quick
prayer.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 24.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #2a2a2a;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">“Okay, Lord… I don’t
wanna do this. But if this is something You want for me, then spark some kind
of interest during this meeting.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 24.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #2a2a2a;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I wouldn’t say an
“interest” was sparked that night. But I have never heard The Lord speak
clearer to me. He made it very obvious what I was doing after I graduated. And
that was going on staff with Young Life International.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 24.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #2a2a2a;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I slept for
literally only an hour that night. I just lied in my bed praying while the rest
of the girls in the room slept.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 24.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #2a2a2a;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">“Young Life
International? Really? Because I just turned 21 less than a week ago, and
that’s really young. And I know you’ve called plenty of young people before.
But I’m not them. And a few hours ago it was a hell no I’m not going into
full-time ministry after I graduate and now you want me to move to another
country by myself to do it? What country? I have <i>always </i>been passionate
about people in the States, this so-called “Christian culture.” I want them to
know You. To <i>really </i>know You. Not just claim to be Christians. Because I
was one. And now you’re calling me away from it? I don’t understand… I want to
trust You with this. I really do. But I don’t know how. So I’m presenting this
to You the best way I know how right now. Give me the faith to believe you and
trust you. Give me a heart and a desire for international missions. Because
right now I don’t have it.”</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #2a2a2a;">By the next morning
I was completely convinced that God hadn’t reallyyyy said anything about Young
Life International and that I had made it all up in my head. I was gonna go
back to Arkansas for my senior year, not knowing what life after graduation
held. And that was okay. Because I had a whole year to figure it out. And it
probably wouldn’t even be full-time ministry.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I started my senior
year back in Fayetteville and it was great. I had zero complaints. But then
everyone and their mom started asking what my plans were after graduation and I
realized how annoying this question was. So I started praying about it because
I really had no idea what I was doing come May. And Young Life International <i>kept.
Coming. Up. </i>It was like those annoying gnats that don’t ever leave your
face alone during the summer. I could not get Young Life International out of
my head. And I tried. I tried so hard not to think about it. With no luck. It
was exhausting.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Being on part-time
Young Life staff was exhausting. Leading my team was exhausting. Leading my
small group was exhausting. I felt like the only thing I was doing semi-okay at
was baking brownies for them every week. And that doesn’t make a good leader. I
didn’t understand why this was so exhausting. I was spending intentional time
with The Lord every damn day. But my times with Him were so empty and
unfulfilling, and I didn’t understand why. Because I really thought I was doing
the right thing by not pursuing Young Life International. I was so deceived. So
quick and willing to believe the lies.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">After a couple
months of this, my roommate, my mom, and several of my friends all pulled me
aside, all on separate occasions, and asked what was going on. They all said
the same thing: That I hadn’t been myself since school started. That I was in
some kind of funk. That maybe God had told me to do something and I was being
disobedient.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">It’s the rebellious
side of me that hates the thought of having to “obey.” But if there’s one thing
I’ve learned this year… It’s obedience.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I knew what they
meant by being disobedient even if they didn’t know… It was Young Life
International. In October, I started taking active steps to pursue it. Not
because I wanted to. But because I needed to be obedient to the Lord’s leading.
As much as I hated that.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">And, y’all… I get
teary-eyed as I type this. It was a hard process. Walking around in circles in
my apartment on hour-long phone interviews, hitting my knees hard at night in
prayer, fighting the desire to back out… It was hard. But over the course of
about four months, I experienced God change my heart like He never has before.
I <i>wanted </i>this. I was <i>passionate </i>about this. And it wasn’t until I
stepped out in faith and obeyed Him that He gave me the desire for this. And
what a strong desire it was.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I remember exactly
where I was when I found out that this was actually happening. It was February
21, 2014. Just three short months ago. I was walking between the Union and the
Law building on my way to class when I got a call from an out-of-country
number. And all of a sudden it was real… I was moving to Germany on Young Life
International staff. I’m sure students walking by me thought I was psycho
because I started crying as soon as I got off the phone. I have never
experienced a joy like that before. And then I was 20 minutes late to class and
failed a quiz because my mind was definitely on the other side of the world… <i>I
was moving to Germany. </i>WHAT?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">It’s been one heck
of a year. It’s been a hard year. But it’s been a good year. I have grown so
much, and I’m so grateful for it. It’s hard to believe that I graduate from
college in just four days…</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #2a2a2a;">As I start
fundraising this summer and into the fall, my hope and prayer is that I
experience The Lord in ways that I never have before. As I’m fundraising over
these next nine months, which is a ministry in and of itself, I’ll prepare myself
to move to the other side of the world to build relationships with German
college students. Just over the past few weeks I’ve started praying for them.
Praying for people I haven’t even met yet. People that will end up meaning the
world to me. And I don’t even know their names. Or speak their language yet.
It’s been the coolest thing to anticipate the relationships that God has yet to
bring into my life. I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. But I’m
ridiculously excited for whatever God has up His sleeve.</span></div>
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<!--EndFragment-->Amy Stuttshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984161121252569571noreply@blogger.com0