delighting in what's standing in your way

A couple months ago, I got my budget for Young Life International, and I learned just how much money I need to fundraise before I move to Germany. If my eyes had gotten any wider when I saw that big, intimidating number, I think they might have literally popped out of my head. Because let’s just call it like it is. It’s a shit ton of money.

After my initial momentary freak out, I gained some perspective as I dove into the next step in the process: Fundraising training. Which would take a full month.

I really, really hate going slow in anything I do. I’m all about fast friendships and breaking speed limits because who has time for society’s rules and laws? And also it's just boring otherwise. Same goes for fundraising. Intimidated or not, I wanted to jump right in so that I could hurry up and move. I was viewing fundraising as something that was necessary, obviously. But also as something that was standing in my way of moving. And the sooner I fundraised, the sooner I could move.

I don’t think that that’s necessarily bad. But I was missing a very important point, and that’s that fundraising is in and of itself a ministry. It is biblical. It is not something that is holding me back or standing in my way. It’s a part of the process. A very important part. I was also forgetting to live in the moment and enjoy what God has for me right now. I love change, so I'm always looking forward to the next thing. Again, I don't think that's necessarily bad. Until I wish time away to get to that thing. It's a discipline I have to practice every day, especially right now. 

Training took up just a few hours of my time each week. I would pace back and forth, back and forth from the front door to the back door of my apartment on conference calls once or twice a week. Each call with my fundraising coach or regional director was grounded in scripture and taught me practical steps and biblical truths when it came to fundraising, money, and finances.  

I could talk about any one of those passages of scripture right now. But I wanna talk about one that isn’t really talking about money at all. It’s just what I read this morning.

Then the LORD said to Moses, “Now you will see what I will do to Pharaoh: Because of my mighty hand he will let them go; because of my mighty hand he will drive them out of his country.

God also said to Moses, “I am the LORD. I appeared to Abraham to Isaac and to Jacob as God Almighty, but by my name the LORD I did not make myself fully known to them. I also established my covenant with them to give them the land of Canaan, where they resided as foreigners. Moreover, I have heard the groaning of the Israelites, whom the Egyptians are enslaving, and I have remembered my covenant.

Therefore, say to the Israelites, ‘I am the LORD, and I will bring you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians. I will free you from being slaves to them, and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with mighty acts of judgment. I will take you as my own people, and I will be your God. Then you will know that I am the LORD your God, who brought you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians. And I will bring you to the land I swore with uplifted hand to give to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. I will give it to you as a possession. I am the LORD.”—Exodus 6:1-8

God makes it clear to Moses and to the rest of the Israelites that He is the one who frees them. It is by His power and mighty hand that they are set free. Not Moses’. Not Pharaoh’s. But God's. The One who notices their suffering and hears their cries. The One looks upon them with concern and wants to set them free. The One who wants to bring them out of suffering and into something good: the land which He promised. Because He is the LORD their God who redeems.

So then I never understood why in Exodus 4:21 God “hardens Pharaoh’s heart so that he will not let the people go.” Well if He hadn’t hardened his heart in the first place then all the plagues wouldn’t have been necessary and the Israelites would have been freed a hell of a lot sooner. Never made any sense to me.

Why are we going so slow? Why does it have to take this long? Those would have been my questions. 

And then this morning I took a closer look at those first eight verses in chapter six. How many times does God talk about how He is the one who frees, rescues, and redeems by His mighty hand?

… He rescued me because He delighted in me.—Psalm 18:19

God delighted in rescuing them. It brought Him joy to do so. And He made sure to make Himself known in the process, so that He would be glorified. And maybe that’s why He hardened Pharaoh’s heart. So that they would see what great and powerful measures God was willing to take in order to free them. So that they would know their value and worth. So that they would know not just how big and powerful He is, but how much He loves them and that He would go to such great lengths for them.

This was fresh in my mind this morning after my last fundraising training call. And I realized how this can be applied to where I’m currently at in my own life: fundraising.

Not that fundraising is the same as slavery in Egypt and not that He is rescuing me from a bad life. In fact, I’m having to leave a very good life behind. One that I will miss greatly. But it’s an interesting comparison to make.

It’s in the fundraising process that I will get to see God’s mighty hand at work. Just like He called Moses to work hard in this challenging task, He calls me to work hard. But He is the one who will ultimately raise the money and He is one who will be glorified and known through it.

That may mean it comes easily and in big, miraculous ways. Or it’s very difficult and slow and comes in small, miraculous ways. Or a combination of the two.

But either way, God will make Himself known through it. And in the process of that, He delights in taking me on the adventures of a lifetime. In fundraising. And in Germany.